Gay or Straight- Love Don't Hate

It's probably no surprise that my daughter loves music. With us being in a band and practicing and recording at the house, she is surrounded by it on a daily basis. I often play records while we eat dinner and she has quickly become a pretty good little DJ on those nights; always picking out her favorite records to play.
At 9 yrs old, she is really starting to discover her own personal style with everything, including music. I encourage her to explore different genres of music and different musicians. I'm never judgemental about what she chooses, although, if a song is inappropriate for her young ears, I will explain to her why. Some of the videos she chooses may be a little risque, for example, Bruno Mars' video for "Gorilla" is a little bit much. She's only 9 and that video is a little too sexual for her young eyes. I'm glad she doesn't like Miley Cyrus, though. We actually had a conversation about her, because apparently a lot of her little friends at school like her. I explained to her that Miley is just trying to get attention with shock value and that you don't have to get attention that way. If you are talented, you will get praised without succumbing to shocking gimmicks. I think she understood what I meant. I'm glad she's still listening to me about these topics, because when she hits those teenage years, she might not give a damn what I say. Fingers are crossed that she still cares when that time comes.

For now, she likes to share music videos that she likes with me. One evening, in particular, she showed me Macklemore's "One Love" video. I can't say I'm a huge Macklemore fan, but I respect the guy and it's a good song with a good message. When it came to the scene where the two guys are getting married, I noticed her giving me some side looks, as if she was waiting for me to say something about it. I didn't and we kept watching. Then comes the scene in the hospital and this time I was giving her the side looks, because I heard a little sniffle. My little baby was moved by the scene and was teary eyed. It didn't really shock me, because, I'm a big softy the same way. I cry all the time when a movie/ TV show/ book, etc... gets emotional. I can't help it and she just takes after me.

"Are you OK?" I asked her.
She smiled a little, slightly embarrassed for being caught crying to a music video, and responded, "yea. That part just makes me sad."

I reassured her that it was OK to cry and reminded her how many times she's seen me cry at stuff like this. Then we started talking about the subject matter of the song. I asked her if any kids at school ever talked about anyone being gay. She tells me she's never heard anyone talk about it. I was glad to hear this, because I don't know what kind of parents some of these kids have and they could be feeding their little ones the wrong information. I reminded her that if she ever had questions about anything to ask me first, because most kids don't know shit and they might have stupid parents. I said it just like that too and it made her laugh. Don't judge me for saying cuss words in front of my kids. It's not a big deal and it lightened the mood a little bit, so she didn't feel like the subject was too serious to talk about.

Anyway, back to the point. We talked about what being gay meant. Keep in mind that she is 9 yrs old, so no, I didn't go into great detail about it. I don't think she is entirely ready for the sex talk, but that's not necessarily relevant to what being gay is. It's not about sex. It's about love. I told her that some people love other people of the same gender, no big deal. I said that sometimes two guys want to marry each other, because they love each other so much and they want to be together for the rest of their lives. Or the same with two women. We talked about how it is illegal in many states for people of the same gender to marry, by which she was appalled.
"Why would it be illegal?" she asked.
"Exactly." I replied. "Why? It doesn't make sense, does it?"

We had a very long discussion. She freely asked me questions, to which I answered openly and honestly. I wanted her to know that it is wrong to judge someone because they are different. I wanted her to know that there is nothing wrong with being gay; that it's not a bad thing to be. I wanted to make sure that she feels comfortable asking me questions about anything even if it seems inappropriate or "taboo." One day she could come to me to tell that she is gay and I don't want her to feel scared to do so. I want to make sure she knows that I will still love her, just the same, no matter what.

I'm not writing this to show that I'm some perfect parent or anything. I definitely have lots of room for improvement. One thing I think I may be getting right is this, however. Talking openly and honestly with your kids is one of the most important things you can do, in my opinion. And one of the most important lessons you can teach them is to NOT be judgemental towards other people. It's your job as a parent to teach your kids right from wrong and it is wrong to discriminate against people because they are different. Discrimination breeds nothing but hate and I think we have enough of that in this world.

Some of you may be reading this and think that I'm wrong for talking to my kid about homosexuality. To those of you, I don't really care what you think. It's important for me to raise a kid who will be open minded and accepting of all different types of people.

Louis C.K. on gay marriage.

Some of you who read this might be very religious and feel like I am teaching my kids to sin, because "the bible says homosexuality is wrong." For those of you, I would just like to say that the bible says a lot of things, including this: "judge not, that ye be not judged." -Matthew 7: 1-29. And Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."  And it also says a whole bag of crazy, weird shit, such as, "Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." -Psalm 137:9. And this disturbing passage from Deuteronomy 22: 28-29, "If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman, because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her." So, basically, the woman who is raped is forced to marry the man who raped her and will not be allowed to leave. Sure... seems legit.

I'm not making this a post about religion, but since the christian world has largely been an opponent of gay marriage, I had to at least bring it up. The bible says a lot of weird shit and is often interpreted in different ways. If anyone wants to discuss this subject further, let me know.

The moral of the story is, talk to your kids. Pay attention to what they like, what they are watching, the music they are listening to, etc.. Teach them to be good and open-minded people. Tell them it's okay to be different and that they should be nice to people who are different from them. Teach them that hate is wrong and that love is always the answer.

And just in case you've been living under a rock and haven't heard this song yet, here it is. The song that brought my daughter to tears and spawned a conversation that taught my daughter about love.