Everybody's Talkin' Bout Age-ism - ism, ism, ism

I'm inspired by people who never give up on their dreams no matter how old they get.

I sometimes feel there is a stigma attached to me when we play shows. Most of the bands we play with are much younger than us.  Most of the live local music we see is played by young adults, mostly in their early 20s. There is nothing wrong with that, but why don't we see older folks more often?
Most of you are probably answering that question in your heads and the response is most likely something like, "Because we grew up and became responsible." Does playing music in a band mean that you are not a responsible person? I play in a band and I pay my bills, take good care of my kids, etc... A lot of the younger folks I know that play in bands, also do the same thing. So, I'm missing the point of once you have more responsibilities you have to stop doing something you love. Granted, with added responsibility, you may have less time for these things, but a little time is better than no time. I believe that it is impossible to be happy if you give up on something you love. And for the sake of argument, if you work at something you love, you could potentially make that your job and/or responsibility. Isn't that the American dream? Make what you love your job and you will never work a day in your life... or however that saying goes.

Some of you may argue that once you have kids, you definitely can no longer have any time for yourself. This is one of the most bullshit concepts ever. If when you have kids, you suddenly stop doing anything at all for yourself, you will not be the best parent you can be. You may find yourself getting cranky and you could inadvertently take it out on your kids. I've also known some parents who have grown somewhat bitter once they had kids, because they suddenly gave up on everything else. In the worst cases, a resentment could be harbored deep down against the kids, because the parent feels like their life ended when their child's began. Don't be that kind of parent! Your life doesn't end when you have kids! I hate when people say that! Your life simply changes and you have to adjust to the change. The one thing in life that is constant, is change. So, if you can't adjust to change, well, sorry to tell you, but your species is going to die out. Seriously. It's science. Once you have kids, yes, your priorities will change, your schedule will change, but you are still going to be you. You shouldn't suddenly dismiss everything that came in your life before you had kids, just because you had kids. Your kids look up to you, they learn from you, so you should show them the cool person you are. Show them what you love. Show them how you work for your goals. They will respect you for it. Give yourself some time to hone your craft. Give yourself some "me" time and show your kids the results. They will appreciate it, learn from it and you will be their hero.

me pregnant on stage

Also, your kids don't want you breathing down their necks every minute of the day. They need a break from you too sometimes. They need to have time to learn independance and explore who they are as people. You're not going to teach them any kind of dependance if you're standing over their shoulders 24/7, critiquing everything they do. If you do that, you are robbing them of an important life lesson: independence! One day you will have to let your little birds fly on their own, but they may have a really difficult time with that if you have coddled them their whole life to that point. You may think you are helping them by watching over them constantly and observing every morsel of food that enters their mouth;  censoring every video game they want to play; restricting every kid they want to be friends with, but what you're really doing is hindering their ability to think on their own. Teach them life lessons that you want them to know and then allow them the freedom make choices based on what you taught them.

Furthermore, what kind of example are you giving your kids if they see that you gave up on your dreams? You are showing them how to give up. Sure, you're supposed to nurture their hopes and dreams, but that doesn't mean you have to stop nurturing your own. The old "do as I say, not as I do," adage is a load of crap. Kids learn mostly by example. If they see you working towards a goal, they will learn to work towards their own. Even better, if you achieve said goal, they will learn that hard work pays off in the end. If they see you giving up, then they will be more likely to give up on things in their own lives.

I also believe that happiness will elude you if you ever give up on your dreams, no matter how old you get. I think that having goals and dreams and wishes is good for the spirit. It gives you hope and motivation and a sense of purpose. Even if you never reach your ultimate goal, at least you will know that you gave it your all and you won't look back and wonder "what if?" If you work towards a goal that you never reach, I still believe that is a success. It's about the journey, not the destination.
 When you turn 50, you're going to look back on yourself at 30 and think, "I was so young then." You'll think, "I had all the time in the world!" The saddest part about that is, most people, when they turn 30, think, "I'm so old." My Grandma always lived by the saying, "You're only as old as you feel." Even after her hair turned all white and her face became wrinkled, she was still as young at heart as a 20 yr. old.  She was a wonderful grandmother and role model who always had time for her grand kids and she still found the time to do the things she loved. She was a lifelong member of the F.O.E. and continually worked with them to raise money for charities, including St. Judes Childrens Research Hospital. Also, my other grandparents are in their 70's and they are still working at what they love. My grandpa makes and sells furniture right along side my grandma who buys and sells antiques. They enjoy it, so why should they stop? Age is a sorry excuse to abandon your dreams and it's nothing, but a number, right?

They have inspired me to always keep trying. If you're having trouble holding on to your dreams, just remember these folks who have gained notable success after 30:

Harrison Ford

"shut up C3-PO, I'm trying to become famous"

Here is a guy who became a self-taught carpenter in his 30s to make ends meet for his family of 4. After being hired to build cabinets in George Lucas' home, he got a small break in the movie American Graffiti. However, it wasn't until he was 35 that he landed the role of Han Solo in a little movie called Star Wars. And now we have Indiana Jones and the Fugitive, etc...

Martha Stewart

also, jail time doesn't mean your career is over...

This iconic celebrity was virtually unknown in her 30s when she started a catering company in her basement. This led to writing cookbooks and giving decorating tips and eventually appearing on Oprah. Now, she is a household name and I'm sure many of you have tried out one or two of her recipes.

Julia Child

Here we have another famous woman in the culinary world. Before she became a world famous chef, she worked as a copywriter and for the government during World War II. It wasn't until she was 36 yrs. old that she moved to Paris and attended the famous Le Cordon Bleu cooking school. Later she became a very famous television personality and cookbook author. 

Sylvester Stallone

I think this story may be the most inspiring of all. If you've never heard of the movie, Rocky, then you must have been living under a rock your whole life. pun intended. It was written by Sylvester Stallone during the lowest time of his life. He was struggling so bad financially, that he had to make the devastating decision to sell his beloved dog to make ends meet. He has been quoted saying that it was the worst day of his life.

Two weeks later, after watching a fight between Muhammed Ali and Chuck Wepner, he was inspired to write the Rocky screenplay. He shopped his screenplay around with the intention of acting in the movie. However, the studio who wanted to buy it, didn't want him to be the star. He declined, even though they offered him $125,000.
His dream was to be an actor, not just to sell a screenplay.
The offer went up to $250,000 and then $325,000, but still without him starring in the movie.
 He declined. His dream was to be an actor.
 Finally, the studio offered him $35,000 and allowed him to act in the movie.
He accepted. His dream was to be an actor.
And we all know how that worked out for him. The movie won best picture at the Oscars and launched him into stardom.
He was 30 yrs old when Rocky was released.

Here is where the story gets really good.
After he sold the screenplay, he was intent to find his beloved dog and buy him back. After 3 days of searching for the man he sold him to, he finally found him. He explained to the man why he had to sell his best friend and offered him $50 (twice what he sold him for) to get him back. The man refused. Sly then offered him $100 then $500 then $1000 and still the man said no. Stallone ended up paying the man $15,000 and gave him a part in the movie, just to get him back!
Now, that's love!

Stallone's dog got a part in the movie as well.

Hopefully, some of you will find this post a little inspiring. So, no matter how old (or young) you are, get out there and do what you love and never give up on it.

Here is your theme song for the day to help you along: